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Suicide

So I have got in to a little bit of financial hole, I am trying to get out but on Sunday I was set to end it all I had a spot on a bridge picked out. I was going to take my car drive really fast and and hit the guard rail and I planned on flipping my car over in to the river. As I was coming up to the spot I remembered that I am doing a lot of work for trans- rights, inclusion, representation, etc.

If I killed myself how would that look on my work? One of two things would have happened: Option 1 A loud out cry for the loss of my life and all of a sudden more trans people would have more rights, in a few weeks I would be forgotten about. Option 2 I be declared mentally unstable and transphobia would be pushed on to me, and all the work I have done and am doing would be forgotten about.

I would love it to be option 1, I would hate to know that I was forgotten about only brought up with comments like "oh what was her name?" Option 2 would be more so what would happen and I cannot do that to my brothers, sisters, and non-binary pals who have lives close to mine.