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Some one asked about coming out to parents

Reann Legge

— 2 min read

Someone on Quora asked about coming out to parents, so I wrote about my experience.

My parents have gotten divorced, they where divorced prior to me coming out so I had to come out to them both seperatly.

For my mother; it was my I wanna say 25th birthday, I was just starting to understand it myself. I had plans on coming out to her but just could not when I went out for lunch with her, I was dropped off at home without coming out. I later went to her place and broke the news, I do not think she believed me. I was in and out of the closet so many times for about 6 or 7 months by that point and was in and out for another “way to long” after that to. I would later tell her the story of where my name came from, https://reannlegge.ca/my-name/, she than informed me I do not look like a Reann, I should not have told my hair stylist, and that I should keep it to myself. Once she realized that I was serious about being myself, all our conversations had some transphobia directed at me. We quit talking so she stuck a note to my door which in short said I was a waste of her life, that note sent me down a deep hole, had I not had the supports that I have now I would not be of the living anymore.

For my father; it was over a year after I told my mother but we had been out at the, I want to say, farmers market for breakfast. We where in his vehicle and I dropped the news to him, he told me he was fine with it “as long as I do not do anything about it.” I than informed him I had started, or was about to start, HRT and that I planned on continuing with my stuff. He got angry and told me he wanted to go see doctors with me, so I agreed. We went to my family doctor who told us; she did not know enough, and that she did not want to step on my other doctors diagnosis, my father also heard her say she did not believe it was in my best interest. We than went to my psychologist who said the same thing, and he even heard him say something like it is not in my best interest. He went and yelled at the office that my endo works out of and was going to complain to the local medical association (so I gave him the address to the local and head offices).

I do not really speak to them anymore, I so want to but I cannot. On Easter Monday this year (2018) my picture was on the front page of the newspaper admitting that I am trans, and doing some activism, (Trans advocate calls for more coverage for gender affirming surgeries (https://thestarphoenix.com/news/local-news/trans-activist-calls-for-province-to-cover-more-surgeries-for-those-suffering-from-gender-dysphoria)) if they where still denying that I am trans I hope it is obvious now.

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